Have you ever found yourself stuck in a toxic, controlling relationship that leaves you feeling resentful and exhausted?
Maybe ‘you’re with a great man, but because you ‘don’t know how to set boundaries, ‘you’re often feeling frustrated?
Maybe you often find yourself in relationships where you give too much and ‘don’t get much in return?
If ‘you’re feeling this way, chances are you need help with your boundaries.
The good news is healthy boundaries can change it all for you. You can switch from a place of helplessness to a place of power.
Here are some signs that you lack boundaries
1. You attract controlling people. If you set boundaries, you attract people who respect you and want the best for you. If you lack boundaries, then you will attract people who also lack boundaries.
A person with no boundaries thinks your lack of boundaries is a signal you ‘can’t take care of yourself, and as a result, they will want to control you.
If you have ever thought, “Persistence pays off” that it’s a good thing when someone chases you even after you expressed your disinterest.
Well. It is not!
Certain types of people such a narcissist, sociopaths love the chase because they have no boundaries and are extremely attracted to a person, who has low boundaries. They literally see you like a puppet on a string.
2. If your relationships are complicated and full of drama, then you lack boundaries. People with boundaries and good self-esteem don’t tolerate drama and bad behaviour. If you want more harmony and a loving relationship, then you need boundaries.
3. If you attract co-dependent relationships or you end up being in abusive relationships, physical, emotional, or sexual. People who lack boundaries ‘don’t have a strong identity that is why the enmeshment occurs and put up with bad behaviour. They often start off as the one that is helping the other but end up the victim.
4. If you worry about letting others down and are often called a people pleaser because you ‘don’t speak up about what you want and you accommodate everyone else, and forget yourself, then you lack boundaries.
5. If you fear being rejected or abandoned, then you lack boundaries. If you have boundaries and good self-esteem, you know your worth, so you ‘don’t worry about rejection or being abandoned because ‘you’re a catch!
6. If you feel taken advantage of and tired you lack boundaries because setting boundaries energizes you and makes you feel appreciated. Poor boundaries lead to negative feelings and your needs not being met.
If you feel taken advantage of it means you ‘don’t have a voice to express what you need and want. If you had boundaries no one could take advantage of you because you wouldn’t allow it.
7. If you have a hard time saying ”no” and always put yourself last is a huge red flag you need help with boundaries. People with good boundaries know when to say “no” they know the imporance of self care and they attract better relationships.
When you learn more about your boundaries and how to set them, you’ll go from feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling resentment in relationships to healthy relationships, trusting yourself and feeling happy and fulfilled.
The consequences of poor boundaries are awful; if you’d like some help setting healthy relationship boundaries get in touch.