Why Do Guys Sleep With Me, And Then Leave or See Me As A Mate?
I’m An Attractive Smart Woman!
I’ve lost count how many times how I’ve heard an attractive, intelligent woman come to me with this exact problem.
They attract men, get drawn in by his charm sleep with him, then the men disappear, or they are put in the friendzone and seen as a mate. Awful!
If you are experiencing this, it can get exhausting, impact your self-worth, plummet your confidence not to mention you can start to second guess yourself and wonder if there are any good men out there.
And your beliefs about yourself start to spiral downwards. Your anxiety around rejection and start to think you’re not enough, or there is something wrong with you, and it all becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No good girlfriend! There is nothing wrong you have just made some BAD choices!
It is time to put a stop to it!
There is a way to prevent this vicious circle and take back your power so that you can attract the right man and have a loving relationship.
Let me share what is going on here. Ok, my guess is two things.
- You are attracting the wrong men!
- You are in your masculine energy which repels men and makes them what to compete, and this places you in the “mates” or friends’ zone.
Let me elaborate on the first part.
Picking the wrong men is a problem. Now if you’ve read my signature Four Types of Men, you’ll know that some men like to chase, others like to play, some men genuinely want a loving connection. In contrast, other men bread crumb you with a little attention here and there before they run to their cave because they are emotionally unavailable and insecure.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which one of the men you should be going for.
But there is more to it. Usually, men are a combination of 2- 3 personality traits, and it’s the combination that is critical to your success.
You see, most women love a bit of an alpha male because it is sexy, masculine and strong. Combine this with the intellection man, and you have killer chemistry, but too much of those two traits and you have a man with little emotional intelligence which isn’t fun. His eyes glaze over when you need him, and instead of comforting you, he gets angry or runs away and blames you for his shortfalls. He never takes any responsibility for his behaviour. After a while, you feel so hurt by his insensitivities, and you no longer want to be with him. Yes, great guy (NOT)! We all know one of them…
Too much of the guy next door and you’re with a needy guy who rides on your coattails, he has no ambition and doesn’t inspire you. You feel he lacks the taking charge that comes with masculinity because he is the fun guy. Let’s face it sometimes you need a man to be responsible and take charge.
Too much charmer and it feels like a roller coaster ride as you crave some stability and certainty.
If Men Are Disappearing After Sex, You Need To Read This.
If you are experiencing men having sex and leaving, you are likely attracting an alpha charmer. He loves to chase, and he pushes hard to get what he wants but unfortunately, when he has you, he loses interest and goes on to his next victim. It’s like he is stuck in the ancient animal kingdom primal stuff. Caveman thumps woman on the head has his way then walks away. Not a good catch at all.
You could also be attracting the man who is the alpha intellect, sorry to say he is more bad news. Another man that has no empathy and struggles with anything emotional. The thing with this man is the more he likes you, the more he pulls away. The classic bread crumb man with so many insecurities he can’t handle it!
Which is a shame because he is fascinating just not capable of anything emotional, and in most cases, he doesn’t even know he is emotionally unavailable. He just seems to be distant, disappearing in his busy life and always on the run. What is he running from? I don’t think he even knows. He is just so unsettled, and it’s lonely to be with this man. Avoid him like the plague it will end in heartache.
The Man You Should Be Going For.
The man you must for has a little bit of everything. He has a mix of the guy next door with some intellect and alpha traits with a twist of charm. He is strong on the outside, soft in the centre, wants a committed relationship. He is stable, and it feels so good to be with him. He doesn’t look to you to make him happy or fulfil his needs; he takes responsibility for his actions. He is grounded a great communicator and wants real love. He does not date you because he wants to feel better about himself. There is a big difference.
If he has a twist of a charmer and I mean a little sprinkle he will be light-hearted, romantic and playful. Now, this is essential if you’re looking for a man with emotional intelligence and an exciting deeply connected relationship.
Why Men See You As A “Mate” or Friendzone You
The reason you’re experiencing this problem is more than likely you’re stuck in your masculine energy. The big clue is, “They see me as a mate”. When a man sees you as a mate or friend zones you, it’s highly likely you are giving off the same vibe his friends are. You may not know it, but he might be thinking she is competing with me.
Competing with a man takes him into the battlefield and with both of you having masculine energy, it acts are a repellent. Think of it as a magnetic field; the more masculine a man is, the more feminine you need to be to draw him in irresistibly close.
Once you learn how to step into your feminine energy which is deep within you, he won’t be able to get enough of you. Men are drawn to feminine energy; they find it irresistible. So if you are his polar opposite, he will be so attracted to you with an invisible force field. There are so many ways you can step into your feminine energy while being your true authentic self.
One simple trick is to talk about how you feel. Eg. When you walk into a restaurant on a date instead of saying, “This is beautiful”. Which is a fact. Facts are masculine talk about how it feels.
“It feels soo good to be here in this beautiful restaurant”. You can then elaborate with further descriptions.
The main thing you need to do is to get into your feminine energy to connect with his heart truly.
I teach all of the techniques in my The Husband Project