An 8-Part Dating Advice for Men from a Dating Expert in Sydney
Just like other people, many men are too preoccupied with the demands of work that they often fail to properly develop their dating skills. Are you one of these men? Here’s an article I wrote which gives you several tips on how to increase your chances of success in dating. Just like other skills, dating techniques can be learned, whether you’re a young lad or a middle-aged man.
1. Pick a nice restaurant with a good ambience.
A date is not a super-charged drink with your lads. It’s supposed to set the mood for an intimate encounter and make her feel comfortable.
It’s difficult to create a romantic conversation if you were to bring her to a bar full of people pounding their mugs on the table and shouting in laughter while a live football game is showing on TV.
Take her to a place with good acoustic music and tasty food. Make sure the place offers a variety of dishes so that your date can have a choice for her personal taste.
Pro tip: If you can find a restaurant that plays some sexy jazz, this would be a bonus because jazz is the universal expression of romantic music.
2. Offer to pick her up
You have to make her feel special on the first date. When you offer to pick her up from work or her place, you’re signaling that you’re willing to take initiative – a trait which is very important for a male to have in a relationship.
Arrive 30 minutes early if you can. Should she come out 30 minutes late or so, don’t appear annoyed. Remember that this is not a business meeting with all the strict formalities and agreed-upon scheduling regarding exact time. While waiting for her, use the time to visualize how you’re gonna throw topics during the date that will keep the conversation going.
If you can’t pick her up for whatever reason, at least arrive at your dating place on time or be a little early.
3. Keep your phone away
Ok, so you’re now sitting at the restaurant waiting for your order to be taken. This moment is where you send cues on how much of a good listener you are.
One of the most annoying things for a woman during a date is when the man keeps on scrolling on his phone and asking to be excused so he could respond to a work-related message or call.
This is an instant connection killer.
Set a voice recording to indicate to your professional acquaintances that you’re busy at the moment.
Show to the woman that she is your priority at the moment and she has your undivided attention.
4. Make the conversation fun
A date is not a professional or academic discussion. You shouldn’t be talking about the economy, religious beliefs, or politics. These are topics that you and your friends argue about. If you steer the conversation towards these divisive subject matters, there’s a chance she might start building a wall.
A fun conversation can arise from such a simple question as: “How was your day at work?” The key is to appear genuinely interested and ask for details. When a woman senses that you’re really curious to know more about what she’s saying, she’ll naturally talk more and lead you into her space.
On your end, share fun anecdotes about your life experiences such as funny things that happen at your work, details about your interests and hobbies, your pets, funny moments with your friends – basically, anything that any person would find amusing.
5. Don’t make it all about you
Men often get the wrong mentality that they have to be the one talking all the time and boast about their achievements because they think that the woman will get impressed. Some men would even lie or fake their resume.
There’s a fine line between appearing confident and being conceited. You definitely have to impress her but not to the point of looking like a jackass. There’s nothing more annoying to a woman than to be with a narcissistic-sounding male.
Don’t fall into this trap. Just conduct yourself with decency and level-headedness, focus on sharing your positive traits, and also show that you have the ability to laugh at your own self. Remember that being sensible and witty are sexy traits for a man.
6. Be Confident in your Body Language
Bodily expressions are important non-verbal cues that greatly influence the outcome of your date.
The key thing about body language on a date is to show that you’re relaxed and attentive. Once she starts talking, all your eyes and ears should be on her. Smile with your eyes, nod with your head, and laugh whenever she signals for a punchline.
When you’re the one sharing stuff, don’t speak with a chest-out posture. You’re not in a gym talking to your fitness coach. Neither should you be in a slumped posture. Instead, lean towards her to encourage proximity and express yourself using your hands and facial expressions. Make her feel that you enjoy talking with her.
7. Pay the bill
Ah yes, the issue on how the bill should be paid. To be fair, there’s nothing wrong when you split the bill with her. It’s common practice.
But if you want to send a message to her that you’re willing to invest in a relationship, then having the initiative to pay the bill will definitely impress her.
A romantic relationship does not really start on a 50/50 thing as in a professional contract but on feelings of intimacy and even a little bit of infatuation. You’re not yet at the stage where you’re discussing a premarital agreement.
Besides, there are critical times in a relationship when a person has to show generosity and there’s no better way to show this than to leave a positive mark on your first date.
8. Offer her a ride home
So now your first date is nearing conclusion and you’re outside the restaurant.
Since you’re the one who picked her up, the assumption is that you’re the one who brought the car. Giving her a ride home is therefore an intuitive decision that you have to do to make her feel secure.
If you don’t have a car or you didn’t bring yours for whatever reason, then offer to accompany her in the cab. It’s probably late in the evening and she’s hopping on the vehicle of someone she doesn’t know. By choosing to be with her on her ride home, you’re showing that you’re willing to do the things to make her feel safe.