We live in a society where face-to-face is becoming almost obsolete especially in the early phases of a potential relationship. People just seem to be so busy with “life”.
Technology was invested to save time however it seems to have stolen our time.
Texting, emailing, calling, Skyping, facebook is just the way we communicate.
Notice how it would be weird if someone just popped over to you house without calling. Back in the old days it was the norm. Today it would potentially be seen as offensive and rude.
Unfortunately with all that technology most people are quick to judge and sometimes getting to face to face time is cut off based on first impressions and judgments and mis-interpretations in communication via text.
So to combat the premature cut off you need to choose your words wisely and master the art of communication. Since only 7% of communication is words, and the rest is body language and tonality, it’s no wonder things are often interpreted incorrectly.
At the same time so you want to stand out and meet your date face to face sooner rather than later else there is a risk that your messages will be misinterpreted and your date may fall off the radar. As relationships progress particularly in the early stages each text or phone call is equally as important if not more important that your first date.
Your text, email or call will determine how frequently you see that person, or if you get to see them another time before being cut off.
What does all this mean? Well you’re going to be at an advantage if you can master the art of handling yourself on the phone.
We can talk about texting next. Here are a few sure fire ways to leave him wanting you more after conversing on the phone.
When he does call you, keep it light and always make sure you have positive fresh and upbeat tonality
No Boring Business Talk
There is nothing inviting or exciting when you talk about your daily basics. I call this “surface talk.” It really doesn’t have any meaning.
Your date doesn’t really want to hear that you had a client show up late so your ten o’clock got pushed to eleven, and this made you late for your lunch meeting.
These are things are just fillers in a conversation and if you want to capture your dates undivided attention you need to steer clear here.
Plus if you talk about work it’s difficult to ignite chemistry as there is nothing really sexy or interesting about office talk.
Talking about work also gives the impression you donâ€™t have a lot going on in your life and it may appear as your identity.
Men look for a woman that he can switch off with. Men want a man with a sense of adventure and charm.
Here’s the scoop. You actually can talk about the facts of your day but make sure you personalize it.
Put some emotion and thought into your words and how you say things. This is what is especially important for women to do. Men need to be encouraged to get into their feels mode. This is what he wants to see and hear.
You might say that you were so excited when your second appointment showed up late because that gave you a few minutes for you to finish booking your dinner reservations for next weekend.
Or you might tell him you are so glad he called because it feels good to hear his voice and this has energised you for the rest of the day.
And don’t be afraid to practice doing this.
Make it a habit of expressing your feelings, rather than just reiterating the events of your day.
This isn’t going to happen instantaneously and will likely feel weird at first. But it won’t take you long to get used to it and more importantly, it’ll make your man melt.
Men, a big word of advice women love to know how you feel. So make sure you tell her, it doesn’t have to be the big â€œLâ€ word. It can be as simple as telling her it feels good to see her or be around her.
Who Calls Who?
Gone are the days of tradition where the guy ALWAYS called the girl first. If the vibe is right, and your gut is telling you to go for it, then do just that.
What are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and call!
If he’s, “into” you, you have hit the jackpot, show him you are into him, subtly and playfully of course.
Before calling, think of what you can talk about. What does he like? Did you do anything with him today that you can talk about? Anything he should know? You can even write down a list of topics to go through, but don’t read off of them like a script, make it casual and impromptu. But if you’d rather wait that’s okay too. Just be prepared that you may have to wait for quite some time, and the reality is he is probably waiting too.
Sometimes if you do wait too long and you are dating a fairly shy guy another woman may swoop on into him and capture his attention instead. The dating game can be very competitive, so give yourself the edge.
If its been a long time before he has called you, don’t punish him when he finally does. Be positive and reward.
You need to do what’s right for you.
Men on the other hand pick up the phone and take action! Women love it when you are proactive. They love to be pursued and chased, so even if you are feeling super shy just think, what would James Bond do right now?
He would pick up the phone and go and get that girl!
Ultimately it doesn’t really matter who makes the call, just as long as someone takes action!
What to Talk About
If you are good at conversations you might want to lead the way. The best thing you could do here is make your call about your date!
Ask them questions about their day, weekend or family, even what they been up to?
Better yet, if you can remember something from your previous conversation ask about that. Maybe it was something about sport, or a holiday, could be something about family or even that thing they has always wanted to do.
You’ll get brownie points for following up because it shows you’re a good listener and you’re interested.
If you are nervous and tend to fumble with your words, that’s ok too, all it means is that you need to prepare for your phone calls with.
Remember this action alleviates fear and practise makes perfect.
If you are stuck for words, just relax. Answer your dates questions and then shoot the same ones back to them. You can even have at least five questions prepared as back up, just in case there are uncomfortable silences.
Keep the questions light hearted, positive, and playful. Be creative.
Being open and honest is a good thing and can actually be a nice tension breaker.
Avoid asking questions like what colour do you like, what is your favourite food that type of question is really common and juvenile. Try to be a little more innovative and interesting.
Tiny words are so powerful. Flirt with a simple little text messages to drag your dates attention onto you like a laser beam.
Communication relies heavily on body language and the tone of your voice in fact only 7% of communication is words.
SO what you say in your text is vital and one wrong thumbing and wave bye, bye. This just means you have to be very careful with what you say and how you say it. There aren’t two people on the planet that interpret everything the same.
The key to texting is to keep it thought provoking playful and cheeky without sexting. Send the right text and youâ€™ll have your date craving to see you and discover more about you. Sending a sext with a photo revealing photo or provocative message leaves a cheap and nasty impression.
Here are a few thoughts that will help you keep on the straight and narrow with texting. So you’re going to draw your date in instead of turning them off.
Light and Short
It’s important to keep your tone light when texting. If you need to use a “:)” here and there to do it, then go for it. DO NOT get into serious conversations via text. The shorter the better with texting but please make sure you use English!
Not acronyms texts like . . .
C â€“ U – @ – 5
When you are trying to tell your date you’re looking forward to seeing them at five. I know there are lots of great short forms with texting and so forth.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make the effort to use full sentences. The least that does is show you know the English language and have some intelligence.
Stay away from the long texts because they can be confusing and it’s just too easy to miscommunicate with texting, not to mention on the boring side.
Don’t mistake texting for emails. Texting is not the time to write him a novel.
Set a Realistic Pace
You are going to run into trouble if you are the type of “texter” that shoots off another question before the first one is answered. What happens is you don’t know what question is being answered because your head has already moved onto another question.
And your date will be completely confused as to which question they are answering. The end result in both cases is going to be frustration and negativity not to mention being turned off by the rapid fire. Neither of which is going to make him desire you.
So make a conscious effort to ask a question and give time to respond. It may take a minute or an hour.
You don’t know what your date is doing so please don’t jump the gun and assume they havent bothered to respond. You don’t know that so don’t assume it.
Look for the good in everything and know that when your date gets a minute they will get back to you.
Besides, you’re just going to look desperate if you start rapid firing the texts. Need I say more?
Don’t Drop off the Face of the Earth
NEVER just end a text conversation by not responding. That’s rude and unnecessary and it’s definitely not going to impress your date. It’s so easy just to tell them you’ve got to scoot but would love to touch base a little later.
Be polite about it. This shows you do have other things in your life to do than text. Follow this very simple strategy and you are definitely going to stick in your dates memory bank.
No Drunk Texting
If you are out late DON’T EVER send a drunken text at 3 am. It’s just not classy, sexy, or appealing. Need I say more?
Sure there may be times where you are busy and can’t text respond. That fine. But it doesn’t hurt to shoot him a quick text if you can to tell your date you are in a meeting and if it’s okay you’ll text when you’re done.
This will keep your dates mind from needlessly wandering. It will also show you went out of your way for and are a considerate person and this will definitely be noted.
Communicate in the Now
What I mean by this is if there is a text you don’t understand. Make sure you get it cleared up now.
Ask what he meant by a certain text if you are confused. If you leave it your mind I can guarantee you it’s going to ad clutter to your head you just don’t need. There is nothing wrong with asking for clarification. It’s a whole lot better than trying to guess. That’s just going to get you into a heap of trouble
- Send open ended questions or the nothing text, such as How are you?
- Send overly long text messages or worse still multiple texts.
- Needy why didn’t you call? I was expecting to hear from you! Where are you?
- Play with your date like a dog and a ball..cat with a piece of string.
My Thoughts . . .
Texting and talking on the phone are great ways to communicate. But never forget you’re playing with a handicap here. You haven’t got the body language factor that will confirm his meaning. In other words, you’re working with more room for speculation and interpretation. This can make all sorts of trouble fast.
If you want your date to get crazy about you. All you need to do is keep your conversations short and sweet, meaningful, light, and make sure you nip uncertainties in the bud.