Trust takes years to build but only seconds to break. What is unfortunate is it can be unrepairable and not only destroy your existing relationship but sabotage future ones, if you don’t deal with your trust issues.
When your trust has been broken, it can be unthinkable to learn to trust again. After all, the person who is supposed to protect and love you had just betrayed you.
You could do a few things.
Option 1: Don’t Trust Again.
You resort on not to not trusting anyone again because you’re afraid to experience the same heartache. A common defense mechanism used to protect oneself from being hurt all over again. This leaves you carrying the pain and feeling disempowered as the victim and living a life of loneliness.
Option 2: Forgive and Learn
But while you feel crushed and angry, the only thing that can make you feel better is to accept the betrayal and with time to forgive. To be able to move on, you have to take a leap of faith and try to trust again. You have to remember that in this life, we are meant to move forward and not be stuck on our heartbreaks. Ask yourself, “How have I grown from this experience?”
Learn to trust again is not only for your potential partner but most importantly for yourself.
We have all been there before, and a life filled with bitterness and doubt is not worth it. Just because one person did something terrible doesn’t mean the others will never detach yourself from the world, go out and try to trust again with these practical steps:
Time heals all wounds
This may sound a cliché, but it is true. With time comes healing and better days. Do not jump into another relationship without giving yourself time to heal. You are hurt, you are feeling broken, you are mad and sad. Allow yourself to feel everything if you want to cry then cry. Allow yourself to think things through. The most authentic way to fully move on is to be able to experience the heartbreak and not cover it with other temporary relationships.
Give yourself time to grieve but be sure that you set a limit. Give yourself a time frame to heal; then it’s time to move on!
Meet new people
Meet new people, spend time with your family and supportive, positive friends. A brilliant way to distract yourself and experience kindness from others is the perfect way to learn to trust again. It will give you a new sense of hope and proof to see there are many great people in your life. When you are ready, date casually, to have fun and enjoy other people’s company
Take it easy
You have been hurt, take it easy on yourself. If you have found someone interesting and insecurity and trust issues start to surface. Take a deep breath and know it’s normal. Be patient with your healing and focus on the positives. Focus on the amazing people in your life. Your friends and family in happy relationships give you proof that good relationships exist. Allow yourself to trust again, especially allow someone to earn your trust; you’re ok regardless of what happens.
Share your story
As your relationship evolves and you get close to your new partner share your story. This allows them to understand your situation. It is essential that you communicate about your fears and expectations once your relationship is more established. Don’t harp on every detail; just stick to the basics purely for the purpose of understanding.
Remember that it would be unfair to compare your present from your past. That is why it is imperative to fully heal before you go into another serious relationship to avoid bringing your past hurt with you, which can affect your relationship. Remember this new person is a unique person, so don’t lash out on them as if they did what the other one did.
Trusting again will not be easy, but it is the only thing left to do to move on. Consider your happiness and your self-worth. Always be positive about everything; it can make your situation more comfortable, lesser burdens and lesser worries. You are worth to be happy again.
So learn to trust again. If you continue to have some difficulties and would like some FREE advice, register with Samantha Jayne on www.samanthajayne.com.au for a free session with a dating expert!